I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
