I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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