im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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