Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
