That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
