Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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