So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
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How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
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It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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