Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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