Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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