maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
