did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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