Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
