I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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