I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
God, I missed his penis.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
