I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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