he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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