I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
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