the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
