My room smells like vodka and shame
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
