I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
