Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
where does the pee come out of this thing
he was CRYING into my vagina
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize