McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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