yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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