What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
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She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
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friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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