dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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