Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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