Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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