I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
