I'm sorry my penis didn't work
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
