So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
