VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
