I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
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Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
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I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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