We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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