I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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