if i can run in heels then i can drive
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
