Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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