Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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