Non-Jews are for practice
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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