do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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