My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
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He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We left the knife in your bed.
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I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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