I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
