She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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