I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
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I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
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Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together