Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.