4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy