Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much