Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

I can't find my pants or my car

(813): View more from Florida

I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...

(561): View more from Florida

ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.

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(813): I can't find my pants or my car (813): I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell... (561): ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal. http://tfl.nu/nq8v

Replies (9) Good night (1411) Bad night (569)
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(410): View more from Maryland

the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.

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(410): the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina. http://tfl.nu/o3ng

Replies (13) Good night (2527) Bad night (525)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!

(864): View more from South Carolina

Because men are children

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Touche

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(832): Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child! (864): Because men are children (832): Touche http://tfl.nu/qtuf

Replies (217) Good night (1461) Bad night (3569)
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(813): View more from Florida

There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it

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(813): There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it http://tfl.nu/xcmh

Replies (19) Good night (764) Bad night (3547)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...

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(609): So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated... http://tfl.nu/17ul

Replies (22) Good night (663) Bad night (5504)
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(352): View more from Florida

... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.

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(352): ... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea. http://tfl.nu/mdap

Replies (6) Good night (2335) Bad night (838)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.

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(603): he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained. http://tfl.nu/iy0m

Replies (11) Good night (1814) Bad night (1240)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.

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(651): Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man. http://tfl.nu/8z1d

Replies (12) Good night (3006) Bad night (586)
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(845): View more from New York

I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.

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(845): I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break. http://tfl.nu/bwgw

Replies (4) Good night (1736) Bad night (611)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.

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(843): What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts. http://tfl.nu/4ub5

Replies (16) Good night (2822) Bad night (825)
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(602): View more from Arizona

The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!

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(602): The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night! http://tfl.nu/j1nh

Replies (4) Good night (1130) Bad night (486)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.

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(313): Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man. http://tfl.nu/vwyk

Replies (6) Good night (887) Bad night (383)
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(904): View more from Florida

I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.

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(904): I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing. http://tfl.nu/6kf7

Replies (2) Good night (594) Bad night (290)
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(214): View more from Texas

Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag

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(214): Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag http://tfl.nu/i32x

Replies (2) Good night (497) Bad night (242)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?

(910): View more from North Carolina

you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.

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(919): how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic? (910): you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment. http://tfl.nu/ekr6

Replies (3) Good night (505) Bad night (312)

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