I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
15 Times â€śFlight of the Conchordsâ€ť Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now