Texts From Last Night

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter

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  (419): with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter http://tfl.nu/l06j
  Replies (3) Good night (1424) Bad night (802)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n

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  (540): david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n http://tfl.nu/9r0h
  Replies (15) Good night (3256) Bad night (879)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He's a collector of sorts

  (713): View more from Texas

  Any cool stuff?

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk

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  (832): He's a collector of sorts (713): Any cool stuff? (832): You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk http://tfl.nu/cuoh
  Replies (10) Good night (613) Bad night (4095)
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  (310): View more from California

  Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.

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  (310): Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces. http://tfl.nu/d897
  Replies (12) Good night (4703) Bad night (853)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.

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  (864): You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable. http://tfl.nu/afg8
  Replies (11) Good night (5447) Bad night (1176)
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  (518): View more from New York

  no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter

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  (518): no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter http://tfl.nu/ikrf
  Replies (5) Good night (3849) Bad night (968)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"

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  (814): All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories" http://tfl.nu/dbqw
  Replies (6) Good night (2848) Bad night (1166)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.

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  (618): I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door. http://tfl.nu/79gl
  Replies (17) Good night (2929) Bad night (822)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future 

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  (403): Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future  http://tfl.nu/vgsd
  Replies (3) Good night (864) Bad night (505)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.

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  (479): Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops. http://tfl.nu/gg9y
  Replies (3) Good night (1264) Bad night (934)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does

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  (412): Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does http://tfl.nu/1hcm
  Replies (5) Good night (763) Bad night (363)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?

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  (732): I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/2e8m
  Replies (1) Good night (489) Bad night (300)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.

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  (928): I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish. http://tfl.nu/fekx
  Replies (0) Good night (633) Bad night (332)
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  (550): View more from

  She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?

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  (550): She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit? http://tfl.nu/lv25
  Replies (5) Good night (451) Bad night (175)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila

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  (612): having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila http://tfl.nu/ph2e
  Replies (0) Good night (429) Bad night (133)

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