One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
