well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
