At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
