this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It's like God shit irony all over that family
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
