That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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