I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
