So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
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He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
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My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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