It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
