When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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