i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
