last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
