She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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