That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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