I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
