The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
